We all find ourselves in a mental and emotional jam every now and then. No matter how organised, effective and efficient we may be as a person, we are but human beings built to cop feelings of overwhelm that equate to mental suffering and emotional pain, borne from the progressive stress occurring through our day to day lives.
Experiences of victories as well as crises happening inside our professional, business and family relationships can cause excitement, joy, anxiety, ecstasy and depression in our minds and bodies. It is important that we are aware of these feelings and transitions as they arise; and learn how to deal with them as they come, so that we can avoid the bigger consequences of breakdowns in health and relationships, which happens when we leave them unaddressed till much later in time.
The better we are at addressing our feelings or “transitions”, the more effective we become as a person, friend, colleague, partner or parent. Which will then help us lead more meaningful and joyful relationships with others, and especially with ourselves.
Practical Self Love Habits on how you can change your state from helplessness to being empowered, is definitely one of my favourite Self Love Practises.
Here I share with you the 7 Steps to Get Out of a Mental and Emotional Jam:
1. Expose The Pain – Be truthful and honest with yourself about the discomfort that is going on inside your mind and body. This step is crucial. Until you find the courage to face the guilt, fear or shame that you are feeling, you will only push your issues around like a piece of food on your plate that you don’t want to eat. It doesn’t go away until you address the truth. Did you have an argument with someone at work? A disagreement with a family member? Concerns about your finances? Frustration about your business dealings? Fear of a health issue? Guilt over an incident that happened in the past?
Often you might think it’s too hard to deal with this right now and so you decide to throw the problem into the “too hard basket” or the “I’ll deal with that later” drawer. The problem with this type of procrastination is it becomes stagnant and unprocessed. It stays to fester. When you expose the pain, you open the channels of ideas to flow, and no matter where it flows, it is better to flow there than to stagnate and fester in one place. Possibilities are always a better option than avoidance.
You might have to swallow a bitter pill and surrender some of your ego, but it is a necessary step, if you are committed to learning a Self Love habit that will become a lifelong, useful skill in living a life from place of content and inner peace. Find your truth and be brave, Expose The Pain.
2. Change Your Physiology – The quickest way to alter your state of mind is by altering your physical state. This step is applied quite literally. When you are contemplating your truth and exposing the pain, also change your physical state. If you are sitting down, stand up. If you are lying down, sit up. If you are standing still, move away and move around. You must get your body moving into a rhythm and crescendo until your thoughts begin to shift.
I encourage sustained movement like going for a walk, a run, swimming, dancing at least 15 minutes, a yoga flow. If you are at home, housework can be a great tool to change your physical state, like gardening, weeding, washing the car, ironing, etc. If you are in the office, you can change your state by simply standing up, opening your chest, tilting your head up, breathing in and out, with a smile on your face. Maintain this position naturally for a few minutes until your thoughts begin to shift.
The shift that you are looking for is a subtle moving away from the guilt, fear or shame that’s been sitting within you. You will feel a sense of energy that lifts your mind, body and spirit. Only you can identify this energy, and the key is to be as honest and truthful to yourself in acknowledging and accepting this upward energy lift, as you were as honest and truthful to yourself in acknowledging and exposing your pain.
3. Express Your Gratitude on Three Things – There is an endless list in our lives that we can all be grateful for. As you expose your pain and change your physiology, think about all the good things in your life. Take advantage of that energy lift and fuel it with everything that you are grateful for. Start easy and then go deep. For example, when I am walking, I notice the birds and the breeze and I am grateful for my surroundings. Then I look at my shoes and I marvel at the fact that they are pink, my favourite colour, and I’m grateful for the small beauty that they bring to my walk. Then someone would smile at me as we walk past each other and my heart is filled with gratitude for kind and friendly people. As I keep walking I feel my heart rate increase and sweat down my back and I feel alive, it’s a great day today. And from there my thoughts dive deeper into the more important things in my life that I am truly grateful for. I will then consciously choose three things, and say them out loud into the world, that I am grateful for them.
Why three? When you live each day with at least three things that you are truly grateful for, you are putting yourself in a place where pain and suffering cannot co exist. If pain and suffering is your circumstance, Gratitude is your choice. You always have the power to heal yourself through gratitude, each time, all the time. Be vulnerable, everything is possible.
4. Plan Of Action – The best decisions are made from high places. By exposing your pain, changing your physiology and finding gratitude, you will experience a sense of being “in the zone”; feelings of kindness toward yourself and toward others will begin to flow, this is your direct access to your “higher self” and the best time to make a decision. Decide to do one thing, to jump start the change that you are looking for, whether in your health, finances, personal relationships, business goals or professional life.
Decide to initiate that conversation with your boss, decide to sign up for the health program, decide to speak to a specialist in your area of concern, decide to send that email, make that phone call, get dressed and show up, decide to make a change, starting now.
5. Execute Now – Decisions and Actions are like Nuts and Bolts. One is pretty useless without the other. As you decide, you must execute. When you strike the iron while it’s hot, you are more likely to make a deep impact and create change. I encourage you to execute your plan on the same day. If exposing your pain is foreplay to your greatness, making the decisions and putting them into action is the rhythm of your greatness. Confucius said that the journey to a thousand miles begins with one step. The mystery in his words lies in that every step is the decision and action, the nut and the bolt. So be mindful to make small steps, but complete steps, each and every time.
6. End The Day With Intention – Being Intentional is the thread that sews small pro active actions to become good habits. Finish your day with a commitment to follow through with your decision and action. Make this commitment visible to you. Write it on your bathroom mirror with a lipstick and leave it there. Cut out some pictures and create a vision board to remind you everyday, or simply slap the goals and pictures on your fridge. Commit to being your higher self everyday.
7. Be Empowered – Repetition is the Mother of Skill. When you repeat and habituate steps 1 to 6 for five days, you will naturally begin to look at things from higher perspective and empower yourself through these simple steps of getting out of a mental and emotional jam.
I would love for you to share your thoughts and comments below. Namaste and remember to always Begin With Self Love.